Aug30
People have been telling me, requesting me to write about some things which I thought were funny. So rather than start poking fun or relating incidents which I thought were funny ( The other day Prof Swarnalata was talking about how people's perceptionof what you have said may even lead to destroyed relationships) I thought that I will start off with myself.
I intend to give opportunity to everyone I know In ASCI to relate Five FUNNY THINGS THAT THEY EXPERIENCED IN LIFE once every sunday. This will help lighten the mood of everyone and it is also a purge of self when you share this with someone else. This will be titled SUNDAY BIRYANI. You can write about anything on earth - except what the society deems Taboo - but in a lighter vein. It is fun to share and I am sure that there will be enthusiastic response. So here I go with the first five things (Funny in my life)
1. When I was in class II , I liked going to school because the teacher was a cute Parsi lady and she wore skirts( Not that that was funny) . Any how the joke is about a classmate of mine who gave me a cream biscuit in the break. As the day progressed we had a disagreement and he wanted his biscuit back. Well the only way to return it was to vomit the stomach contents- and that is what I did...
2. In spite of getting thrashed for practical jokes ( Parents did not skimp those days - they believed in the dictum of ' Spare the rod and spoil the child'.) It was in class nine when being taught binary arithmetic that one of my class mates was taken up by ones and zeros. In a loud voice he kept shouting 111101101010... and so on, incessantly- until the teacher came and slapped him saying " Idhar main accounts karne ki koshish kar raha hoon aur mere accounts mein sirf one aur zero aa raha hai - chhup ho jaa".
3. To get into the services one undergoes a battery of tests. These include written tests, after clearing the written one has to prepare for the Services selection Board where tests include physical, mental aptitude , psychological tests and finally the interview where having made it we were standing outside in the garden for the president's interview. This also had a lot of weightage. While waiting,I saw a pipe jutting out of the ground, with a faucet. Being of inquisitive nature - or fidgety nature - take your pick, I turned on the faucet. What i did not expect was the pressure with which the water gushed out and wet my shirt totally. It was a defining moment, I was panic stricken. Another candidate came out from the interview, we exchanged shirts and as they say - the rest is history. My saviour did not get selected and it had nothing to do with my wet shirt...
4. Time passed we grew up trained hard - training was not funny - graduated and joined our battalions. In 1984 we moved North east to train for counter insurgency. The move and the training thereafter was tough and back breaking. The oppressive weather did not help and the jungles were full of under growth. Our mission was to capture an enemy hideout. It was when we were close to the hideout when the company commander cautioned us against making any sort of sound. We were waiting to spring the ambush. It was dark and there was silence all round - which was broken by one of the boys - who was so tired that he started snoring loudly and ruined the surprise. Thank God it was training.
5. One gets these urges sometimes. " Act in haste and repent at leisure" are some of the things that come to my mind. In March '87 when on leave I was returning late from a dinner at a friend's place on scooter. It was 2'0' clockin the night. I had this desire to close my eyes to see if I could go straight on the scooter; I found that I could not when I veered right and hit a culvert, flew over and crashed my knee against a steel pipe in the nala below. I found that my knee cap broke into many pieces, when I could not stand. Next scene hospital ER . The nursing staff( Male ) at the ER were to carry me to the ambulance for going for the X-Ray. While loading into the ambulance they dropped me on the ambulance steps - Result? - a serious gash on the eye and a bruised Ego. The matter did not end there. That day the orthopaedic surgeon came to check on me. Date for operation was set for the next day. By evening the same doctor suffered a Heart - Attack and was admitted in the hospital along with me... These things happen. The upside is I met my wife to be because of the accident - but that is another story.
People have been telling me, requesting me to write about some things which I thought were funny. So rather than start poking fun or relating incidents which I thought were funny ( The other day Prof Swarnalata was talking about how people's perceptionof what you have said may even lead to destroyed relationships) I thought that I will start off with myself.
I intend to give opportunity to everyone I know In ASCI to relate Five FUNNY THINGS THAT THEY EXPERIENCED IN LIFE once every sunday. This will help lighten the mood of everyone and it is also a purge of self when you share this with someone else. This will be titled SUNDAY BIRYANI. You can write about anything on earth - except what the society deems Taboo - but in a lighter vein. It is fun to share and I am sure that there will be enthusiastic response. So here I go with the first five things (Funny in my life)
1. When I was in class II , I liked going to school because the teacher was a cute Parsi lady and she wore skirts( Not that that was funny) . Any how the joke is about a classmate of mine who gave me a cream biscuit in the break. As the day progressed we had a disagreement and he wanted his biscuit back. Well the only way to return it was to vomit the stomach contents- and that is what I did...
2. In spite of getting thrashed for practical jokes ( Parents did not skimp those days - they believed in the dictum of ' Spare the rod and spoil the child'.) It was in class nine when being taught binary arithmetic that one of my class mates was taken up by ones and zeros. In a loud voice he kept shouting 111101101010... and so on, incessantly- until the teacher came and slapped him saying " Idhar main accounts karne ki koshish kar raha hoon aur mere accounts mein sirf one aur zero aa raha hai - chhup ho jaa".
3. To get into the services one undergoes a battery of tests. These include written tests, after clearing the written one has to prepare for the Services selection Board where tests include physical, mental aptitude , psychological tests and finally the interview where having made it we were standing outside in the garden for the president's interview. This also had a lot of weightage. While waiting,I saw a pipe jutting out of the ground, with a faucet. Being of inquisitive nature - or fidgety nature - take your pick, I turned on the faucet. What i did not expect was the pressure with which the water gushed out and wet my shirt totally. It was a defining moment, I was panic stricken. Another candidate came out from the interview, we exchanged shirts and as they say - the rest is history. My saviour did not get selected and it had nothing to do with my wet shirt...
4. Time passed we grew up trained hard - training was not funny - graduated and joined our battalions. In 1984 we moved North east to train for counter insurgency. The move and the training thereafter was tough and back breaking. The oppressive weather did not help and the jungles were full of under growth. Our mission was to capture an enemy hideout. It was when we were close to the hideout when the company commander cautioned us against making any sort of sound. We were waiting to spring the ambush. It was dark and there was silence all round - which was broken by one of the boys - who was so tired that he started snoring loudly and ruined the surprise. Thank God it was training.
5. One gets these urges sometimes. " Act in haste and repent at leisure" are some of the things that come to my mind. In March '87 when on leave I was returning late from a dinner at a friend's place on scooter. It was 2'0' clockin the night. I had this desire to close my eyes to see if I could go straight on the scooter; I found that I could not when I veered right and hit a culvert, flew over and crashed my knee against a steel pipe in the nala below. I found that my knee cap broke into many pieces, when I could not stand. Next scene hospital ER . The nursing staff( Male ) at the ER were to carry me to the ambulance for going for the X-Ray. While loading into the ambulance they dropped me on the ambulance steps - Result? - a serious gash on the eye and a bruised Ego. The matter did not end there. That day the orthopaedic surgeon came to check on me. Date for operation was set for the next day. By evening the same doctor suffered a Heart - Attack and was admitted in the hospital along with me... These things happen. The upside is I met my wife to be because of the accident - but that is another story.
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