Retirement Blues (A wife's Dilemma)

         
  His siesta was disturbed by the sound of voices in his living room. Ever since his retirement he had fallen into the habit of sleeping after lunch. Other than his wife's voice he could hear those of a few other ladies who had probably come to his place to exchange the local gossip. Normal courtesy demanded that he greet the ladies but the mention of "Retirement" and 'My Husband' made him pause. Like a true retired person he started eavesdropping. His wife was narrating something.....          

         "Normally I am a very patient woman" his wife said; "More so with my husband than with others. He sometimes behaves in the most obtuse manner". His interest was piqued and he continued listening." A disagreement would only be resolved when he was out of my area of influence - when he went for work"- his wife continued. "Of late one major thought has been the foremost in my mind. Should I murder him?" 

           Now he was really curious and this is what his wife had to say....

        "Since his retirement he has been a pain in all the imaginable and unimaginable places.I frequently fantasize about the various methods that I can employ to carry out this dastardly act. 'Crime Patrol Dastak' and all such gory shows are not helpful at all. The criminal always gets caught. So I had to look elsewhere for inspiration. I had to devise ways to 'Have my cake and eat it too' I had to have a moment of insight when I could kill and get away with it".

           "To say that I looked forward to his retirement so that we could be together would be stretching the reality a bit. In fact I dreaded his last day at work when he would bid goodbyes to his colleagues and stay home permanently. Many times I tried to broach the subject - both obliquely and asking pointed questions - after retirement what? He either ignored these questions, changed the subject or acted as if he did not hear me. On the retirement day he was deposited on my doorstep drunk by his erstwhile colleagues with a bedraggled boquet in his hand and a silly smile on his face. The presence of his colleagues prevented any mishap occurring that day. His friends put him to bed , dusted their hands and left." 

           " In repose, breathing stertorously, with his mouth open, he presented a very funny picture. The future looked bleak. A part of my mind rationalised that maybe things would be okay and all would be well. Another part of my mind - refused to accept the inevitable - and advised me to run. A night of troubled sleep and I came awake suddenly in panic. I had to prepare lunch and breakfast for my husband to go to the office. Then came the realisation that he had retired and we would be in each other's space till we were parted. I tentatively kicked my husband to wake him up. The first thing he said after waking up was "why did you not wake me up?" (The  blame game had already started) "Now I will be late for office..." probably the realisation that he retired also came to him alongwith the hangover and he groaned. He tried to grab me (I don't know what intentions he had but i avoided being puled into the bed again) and when that did not work he picked up the TV remote. Two hours after I left him watching the TV to do the household chores he was still in bed - watching the TV. He ignored all the calls on his mobile and when the calls went unanswered, the callers started calling me. In addition to doing the housework I had become a PA for my husband juggling between the kitchen and the bedroom to make him speak over the telephone. "

            " Finally in a fit of desperation when I screamed at him to get out of bed he did so. After getting ready and having his third cup of coffee, reading the newspaper and watching the TV (Such Multi-Tasking would have improved his promotion prospects at his workplace), the next step was to interfere in the housework. The maid was told to sweep properly - he followed her into each room (was he interested in her work or her curves?) to supervise her work. Luckily the maid was an even tempered person who sportingly took his suggestions and left without making a scene. Then started the whining. The bathroom was not clean - where are my books - why is my cupboard in such shambles - where should I put my documents - what is for lunch (This was just after breakfast) - etc. Not a single word about assisting me at work or even sharing the burden. He left a trail of glasses and cups throughout the house and expected me to clean up after him." 

            " Before I did anything drastic there was a need to lay down certain guidelines for our continued co-existence. This included distribution of housework, time to do other activity, distribution of TV time etc. We did not watch the same programs on TV, and - more importantly how to give each other space while spending days together in the same space. It also included the need for my husband not interfering with the maid or other household staff".

          " By lunch time I was in a daze. I felt like a trapped rat who had no route of escape.  Lunch was consumed with criticism of both the food and general standard of the household work. Of course an afternoon of repose gave me the much needed sucour to re-organise my thoughts and plan my further actions. The evening slowly slipped into the night. This part of the day was more familiar to both of us as  this ws the time my husband came back from work till yesterday. This paticular day was the beginning of a new era.Since my husband was home in the evenings I decided that I would go to the Gym and spend time there. The evening meal was consumed in silence and soon it was bed time. The rigors of the first day left me exhausted and I fell asleep as soon as I hit the pillow. And there was no further scheming that night."

            "But then there is always tomorrow......"

            His wife's thought process left him stunned. He longed for those days at the office when he felt that he was on the top of the world who had minions in the office and a wife at home. He felt cornered and unloved. He decided to turn over a new leaf and understand his wife's angst. Right now he needed a cup of tea and his wife was wasting time gossiping with her friends.....

  

 

Retro-Review

           With nothing much to do we were surfing the various videos on the youtube. Nowadays youtube has this facility where the preview of the video is shown for about thirty seconds. These thirty seconds help you decide whether you want to watch the show or not. On this particular day my browsing stopped at a particular video. The singer started crooning ♪My name is Anthony Gonzales.....♪ years rolled back and in an unspoken communication between my wife and I, we decided to watch that beautiful movie "Amar Akbar Anthony". Popcorn was catered for, blinds lowered and we were ready to immerse ourselves into the world of fantasy of Manmohan Desai....(God Bless his soul).

 

           Had so much water flown under the bridge that 45 years had elapsed since the release of this movie?.  In 1977 I was a young lad of barely 15 summers and my wife was also that much younger...(She is averse to my revealing her age publicly- unless it has financial implications). Of course at that time she did'nt have an idea that she would be tying the knot with me. All the actors were 45 years younger the world was that much more younger. Movie tickets cost - I think Rs 10 for the balcony and for the lower stall Rs 1.75.  Money was hard to come by even if it meant shelling out such a meagre amount. One had to indulge in various devious means such as selling old newspapers on the sly to cater for the tickets. And this involved having an accomplice who would recieve the papers and go to the raddi-wala. It was fun until we got caught and both our mothers were weeping on our 'supposed' graduation to bigger crimes as we grew older. Considering our financial situation you could guess which stall we would prefer to watch the movie. 

         The movie was a diamond jubilee and ran for more than 75 weeks at the box office. The movie was so popular that we had to stand in lines in the fuggy atmosphere of belches and farts -  maybe for two shows in a row if the booking window closed on us. Were we that patient 45 years back? Of course as we grew we found that befriending a lady to buy us tickets reduced our waiting period (That is right they used to have seperate lines for ladies)

        The movie starts off innocuously enough with someone being released from the jail after serving time. As the camera pans onto the ex prisoner's face we realise that it is Pran who (May he rest in peace) has fathered three children off the character of Nirupa Roy - that ever suffering quintessential mother of Indian cinema - who could do no wrong. Though I believe in real life she was quite severe on her daughter -in law. One is loath to speak ill of the dead ( may she have the best of the other world). Pran having served time for someone else feels wronged and goes to meet the Boss (Jeevan - who incidentally kicked the bucket). The boss has exotic tastes and likes his boots cleaned with whisky. Pran steals from his boss and his family is seperated during a storm with the eldest son being raised as a hindu the second son as a christian and  the third son as a muslim.

            The mother who runs off leaving her three children to commit suicide - because she was unable to look after her family- is hit by a tree branch in Mumbai (those days there was still some forest cover in Mumbai) during  a storm and loses her eyesight. After a suitable amount of time has elapsed the eldest son becomes Vinod Khanna (Died of testicular Cancer) God bless him, the second son is Amitabh bachhan (Anthony) and the third son is Rishi Kapoor - Akbar(Died of Blood cancer) Om Shanti. 

            God Allah and Bhagwan play a pivotal role in the movie and the three brothers of different religions end up donating blood to the flower girl (Nirupa Roy). Blood is still red -no matter - what  religion you follow. Amar, Akbar and Anthony go about their ways and meet the three leading ladies Shabana Azmi (Amar) Neetu Singh (Akbar) Parveen Babi (Died a lonely death- May her soul find Rest) (Anthony). 

            A series of incidents, God's intervention and Shirdi Sai Baba (Nirupa Roy gets back her sight) ensure that the family re-unite finally. With the spurned lover Zebisko losing out both in the movie and real life when he died in 1985 (God needed him in Heaven). 

            The movie finally comes to an end with the song ♪ Amar, Akbar Anthony  ♪ being sung lustily the family smiling and general happiness everywhere. It was one of the few movies  in the recent times that I watched without a break - even to go to the restroom.  I am sure that the movie if released today would still be a hit (Notwithstanding the boycott culture).

            45 years have passed and the movie is still capable of keeping the audience (Read - My wife and I) spellbound. 45 years have changed us beyond recognition and hopefully the next few years will further change us . For they do say - "Life is one huge cycle" 

Retirement Blues

     The weather did not permit any activity outside. Much as he would have liked to stretch out after days of inactivity,it was just not possible. And he feared inactivity. Not because it was unhealthy but also because it brought on strange thoughts which were scary. Of late he was sleeping very late in the night. This did not help at all.

     And on top of it he was retiring from service. Retirement three years back looked like it was thousands of years away. Now all of a sudden years of inactivity loomed over hin. No more whiling away time at this office. He would have to do it at home. One of the questions nagging him was how would his wife tolerate him? Not that his was an unhappy marriage. In fact his was a dream marriage. They had had the best of times. Of late however his wife was getting a bit bossy. For many days he had wondered at this change. A sweet fun loving lady had turned into a bossy woman. He agonized for months at this change in attitude. And inevitably he turned to the internet for his answers. 'Menopause' the search engine screamed. 4567825 in 0.01seconds it proudly proclaimed. He did not have to go beyond the first page to find out accurately about his wife's symptoms. It explained a lot. "Well" he thought philosophically "I will have to exchange one boss with another" 

     All those fun times at office when he used to come late just because he could and then since it was already tea time move to the tea room for tea and gossip. It invariably got stretched to an hour and then his conscience would feebly tug at him to do something at the office. His most productive hour was between tea-time in the morning and lunchtime. By the time he had finished a part of his task it was already time for lunch. The lunch usually ended in as animated discussion. A full stomach and the afternoon heat generally put him in a stupor. He used to go through his work like an automaton. The peon would thrust a tea cup in his face at the appointed hour. At this time he generally went to the boss to apprise him of  his progress during the day. This interaction had a twofold aim. One was of informing his boss about his presence in the office throughout the day - hard at  work - and the other was to ensure that the boss did not miss him when he left for home early.

     A smile came to his face when he thought about how he used to fool the bosses. But when he got promoted to a responsible position he realised that the boss always knew about his escapades- because now as the boss - he knew about his subordinates. Probably his bosses were either tolerant, indifferent or were with him for too short a period to make a major difference to his career. It was a worthwhile life. The tomfoolery the handling of emergency situations and finally the sadness that he felt when he would go home. This set off a new trend of thought... He was paying home loan . When  he was in service it did not pinch all that much. But with just the pension coming in he would be hard pressed to pay the monthly instalments. But he brightened up when he remembered that he would be getting a lump sum amount from his department. But should he clear the loan or not -was the question that was plaguing him. The internet did not offer any viable solution. Of  the few that he read -(3678534 results 0.10 secs) - they were all equally divided in their opinion. He decided to pose the question on his group in WhatsApp. The discussion was lively but yielded little result. While some were for clearing the loan the others told me to sell the house. "You are not going to take the house anywhere after death" they said. Better would be to sell the house and live off the proceedings. Or rather the interest on the proceedings. "What about the children"? He asked. Promptly came the reply "you have contributed to their birth education and even ensured that they got into higher studies. What more can you do?" He disagreed but could not find the courage to put it in the group. 

     Days passed he was closer to retirement. The need to safeguard the cash that he was getting as a lump sum took him back to the net and of course to his WhatsApp groups. Invest in ritual funds, start a systematic investment plan, put your money in fixed deposits, buy property,  buy stocks,set up a start up business- there was no lack of  advice - only his reluctance to step out of his comfort zone. He already was having sleepless nights about the money he had yet to receive and invest. Each day resulted in thinking up new actions that he had to take prior to retirement so as to ensure a trouble free after - retirement life. It was not fair life used to be so simple when he was a child his parents were responsible for everything and one only needed to bother about his next meal and the rest would  take care of itself. 

     Now in his adulthood goalposts shifted everyday. Whether it was clearing his senior secondary exam or getting a good rank in a competitive exam so that he could make it in a good college or work hard thereafter to get a good job or after he got a good job spend money and time to acquire a girl friend, convince her parents to get hitched to her ( A needless expense he now realized). Birth of the first child. Everything was good the child grew up happily. That was until the novelty of the first child waned. The grandparents wanted more. Their logic was irrefutable. A single child did not have much scope of growing with responsibility. A second child would teach the first to adjust to the society. Teach the first child to share. The pressure got to him. He got to work to produce the second child. Then started the whole cycle all over again. Admissions homework exams projects sicknesses rebellion competition etc. Class X Class XII admission to a professional course. The responsibilities never ended...

     Just when he was hoping to sit back and relax he suddenly came to the realisation that  all his life he had struggled and now was the time to sit back and enjoy the fruits of his long years of service- but would he be able to ....?