Funeral II

           Day 1 - The Incarceration 

        The funeral left everyone exhausted and emotionally drained. We returned home to a sombre atmosphere. All rites as required were being followed religiously. Garuda Puran was being followed in letter and spirit. Even the children who were normally boisterous were quite and subdued. The latest addition to the family (one year old) was crying in subdued tones. For once the television was switched off. Lamp in remembrance of the dead one was regularly being replenished with oil. Bland food with no cooking oil and other necessary condiments was consumed without a complaint. Was this how it was going to be the next ten days?

        Day 2 - Ennui 

      Woke up fresh without a hangover. Relaxed in bed. Then suddenly remembered as to why I was here. Why we were all here. And that feeling of sadness settled in the stomach. Suddenly the realisation that the water supply was only for an hour hit me. Needed to get ready. Should use the bathroom before any one else ruined its pristine condition. Breakfast was again bland . Children were showing signs of restlessness. Parents were trying to impose the sadness of passing away on the children (“You should not play or make noise” – was the frequent refrain of the parents with solemn faces). Music was on full blast - Ustad Bismillah Khan Shehnai – why is Shehnai played only for weddings and funerals? – I thought. Free time read a novel. Is it appropriate to read a novel? Ceremonies were performed by the Pujaris. Stream of visitors condoling the death was still on. After the first “ I am so sorry about the Passing”, the silence stretched. “Will you have a cup of tea or coffee?” some people did not want to have coffee or tea . I could intuit that they were hesitant to consume a beverage in a house hold where there has been a death. For people who did not know how to respond, a cup of coffee or tea was thrust into the visitor’s hand. The hot beverage forced the visitors to prolong their visit. With little else to talk about, conversation usually drifted to the kids. ( “How tall he has grown – which class is he in”?- “what is he opting for”? Etc) After drinking the scalding tea at an impressive pace the visitors leave. The TV addicts among us are staring at the blank screen. Everyone is reluctant to take the initiative to switch on the TV. Today we had to remind each other to keep the lamp burning. By evening - with little else to do - everyone was tripping over each other. Fortunately we were still civil to each other. Resignation to eating tasteless food. We retired to bed early. Sleep eluded me. Maybe it is the withdrawal kicking in.

       Day3 - The Inheritance 

      The first thing I noticed was that the lamp had gone out. It did not seem important anymore for the lamp to continue burning. Anyway this was pointed out to all and sundry by everyone concerned. The lamp was relit and normalcy restored. The time to see who got what was at hand. The advocate arrived at the prescribed time. We all assembled in the drawing room. There was an air of expectancy. In all it was a disaster right from the start. Debts had piled up for the treatment. Property tax not paid for quite a few years. The hospital bills were yet to be cleared. The positive aspect was all assets were equally distributed. Therein started the bickering. “Who would clear the outstanding dues”? “Should the house be sold”?” And money distributed”? “Or should someone occupy it”?” Should it be given on rent”? Not all agreed on selling the house.

     The attention was thus diverted from the betrayal of the expectations from the dead to the stupidity of the living.

     The family was divided into two clear factions. Those for selling the house and those against. The discussion got very bitter. Past intransigencies of various stakeholders were dredged up. Soon everyone was pouring scorn on each other. By evening all were exhausted and had run out of abuses and curses. The period of silence started. I felt that it was a precursor to the more deadly battles coming up. In my view the silence was for us all to remember new insults to hurl at each other. The future looked bleak and gloomy.

       Day 4 - The Quarrel 

         There was a tussle as to who would keep the lamp burning. Remembrance of the dead was slowly losing steam.” It is not my job” was the frequent refrain. When the lamp was ultimately lit, the person who did it had a ‘Holier than Thou’ look on their face. Complaints about the tasteless food were growing more vociferous. The aftermath of the previous day’s manifested itself in quite a violent manner when a child was slapped resoundingly for disobeying his parent. Immediately there was an outcry of indignation. It opened the floodgates for everyone to comment on the methods of upbringing a child. While the parent was contrite about his impetuous action he could not let go of the slur on his character – “ I know best about my child; Who are you to tell me about my shortcomings?” – followed by criticism of how ill - behaved the other children were and how badly they were doing at school. Comparisons were made to a donkey and the child in question and the future of the other children. As the day passed the discussions got more and more heated. Finally zeroing in on the shortcomings of the parents themselves and their present station in life. Emotions ran high. One of the sisters-in law refused food. Of course it would definitely do her good not to eat for a day or two. The frayed tempers left everyone exhausted. The differences split the families  and no one was speaking to each other. There settled a pall of gloom over the house – more potent than when the person in question had passed away. People were not sad but seething with anger.

        Day 5 - Reconciliation ?

     The day dawned bright and beautiful. But not for this household. The previous day’s accusations and counter accusations  still rankled in everybody’s mind. Thankfully the children were unaware of these undercurrents of unhappiness. You cannot stop children from doing what they want for a single day – leave alone for ten long days. Day to day routine and the cold war threw up some really atrocious breakfast and lunch. The food was so bad that one could feel the universal rejection, even though no one spoke of it. Into this charged atmosphere walked this aged relative who was not liked .Her visit combined with insensitive remarks about our parent and the tasteless food finally made everyone realise that we had something in common. This precipitated in stilted conversation  between the 

various couples. Those who were deeply hurt or angry still kept quite. There was a certain lightness in the atmosphere. I felt relieved at this new development. We went to bed in a much better frame of mind.Who Knew how long this  this tenuous peace would last...