Swami Guruvananda blessed the young couple. The baby was making a gurgling sound of laughter when he tickled it under the chin".How uncomplicated the lives of the young are!" Guruvananda thought; He was tired but happy. It was fulfilling to see people go away from the ashram happy and with a look of serenity on their faces. As he made his way back to his quarters his thoughts went back to that fateful day when the lady reporter all but accused the Swamiji, his Guruji, of illicit relationship with Maya. The Swamiji answered all the questions patiently and with lot of restraint. His demeanor was what impressed everyone about his sincerity and his truthfulness. The reporters who had come to the Ashram sensing a big story left singing praises of the Swamiji.
To continue Guruvananda's story:-
I was relieved with the outcome of the press conference. I had no doubts that things would go back to normal. I could not have been more mistaken. The sedate life of serenity we led at the ashram was about to change in a manner that I had not anticipated. After the press conference, the Swamiji became very thoughtful . He took part in the daily prayer meetings but he was withdrawn. He spent more and more time in solitude. His penances became more severe.He now had lesser time for his disciples. Though he did not cut himself off totally from the day to day activities of the ashram, there was still this feeling of something being wrong, After discussion with the other inmates of the Ashram I decided to confront the Guruji. While I could not ask him questions directly I decided that I had to inform him of the concern in the Ashram with regard to his aloofness. And so, when one day it was my turn to look after the Swamiji, I decided to ask him about his reticence.
Perhaps the Swamiji sensed my disquietude. And he smiled that benign smile of his and said " Son I sense that you want to ask me something. Before you say any thing let me guess what is bothering you". He raised his hand to quieten my protestations. " while I would like to live a life of peace and serenity the occurrences in the Ashram of the recent times have proved that no one is beyond being affected by Maya. By Maya I mean the illusions that we are under. To a large extent your friend from the USA was not wrong when he said that we are all subject to illusions. In my case it was the fact that I was affected by Maya who is now in our Ashram."
"As we progress in life what is it that we are looking for?" Saying this the Swamiji looked at me with his piercing eyes. I immediately dropped my gaze from his scrutiny. I was not sure as to how to answer him. He then answered his own question. " We are looking for genuineness in our existence.We are looking for people to accept us for what we are. No hidden meanings in what we speak and truthfulness in our actions. By this I mean that there are no ulterior motives associated with whatever we say are do. Every word that we speak is taken at it's face value and acted upon as such. when we have achieved this then we are on the path to true Nirvana. Everything else we say or do has to be towards achieving this end."
"When I was taking personal attention in Maya people attributed it to my physically being attracted to her. This had me thinking over the past few days . And this is the reason that I have been withdrawn . It was time for introspection.I have failed myself in the quest for higher things in life.I feel that a lot has to be done towards this end. We all desire to be close to the higher power. Sooner or later everyone turns to God. Some with more intensity than the others. I feel that in my case , as I progress in life the desire to get closer to God becomes stronger. Hence I have to take certain drastic decisions."
Instinctively I knew what the Swamiji was trying to tell me. Already I felt bereft at the thought of losing the Swamiji. Would I be able to bear the impending loss? I knew I was being selfish. Like a child who would rather be in the protective embrace of his mother than face the world I also did not want to be separated from the Swamiji.
In the next few days against all my expectations the Swamiji made preparations for his impending departure. He still attended all the daily meetings and carried on with providing solace to the lost souls of this world. In fact he seemed more lively than ever before.
Sooner than later the blow finally fell. One night immediately after the night prayers, one of the disciples came to me with summons from the Swamiji. I immediately repaired to his hut. I was the last to arrive. There were already a few of the chosen disciples, including Maya present in the hut. As soon as I arrived the Swamiji got up and said " Life is a progression of events. Some good and some bad. It is how you view them that makes them good or bad. You are all aware of the events of the past few days. While many of you are dismayed and maybe disappointed, I regard these as a positive sign for me to move on . I have therefore decided that I require solitude and peace to meditate in a more concentrated manner on God. I intend to head into the Himalayas to discover myself and in the process discover the supreme Being. Once before I endeavored to leave but probably I was not ready to do so. But now I see that the time has come." We were all stunned beyond words . The Ashram without the Swamiji seemed unimaginable. One of the younger disciples put this thought into words when he asked the Swamiji "But Swamiji who will look after us? Who will guide us in difficult times?
The Swamiji was silent for a time . We all waited patiently for the Swamiji to speak further. It was as if he was meditating . Then he opened his eyes and his gaze rested on me.I found it difficult to breathe. The Swamiji said " Guruvananda has been with me for the longest time. He understands my teachings the most. He is a man of compassion and believes in the goodness of all human beings. He will be your new guru. I hereby rename him as Swami Guruvananda. " Saying this the Swamiji walked towards me and made as if to hug me. My eyes were full of tears and I fell at his feet saying " I am not ready for this Guruji. I cannot fill the void left by you." The Swamiji raised me to my feet and hugged me. He said " Are we ever ready for anything in this world? For the happiness , sadness , backstabbings, disappointments, pleasure, pain etc? But when it does happen to us we learn to cope and at times our experiences become the examples for someone else. Dear Guruvananda you have been ready for a long time. It was only my reluctance to leave which has held you back. Nothing will make me happier than leaving the Ashram in your capable hands. He then turned to Maya and said to her " Dear Maya you have, of all my disciples, seen pain at close quarters. In the time that you have been here you have endeared yourself to one and all. Your ability to willingly undertake all tasks without complaining is outstanding. I am sure that you have learnt to handle life with greater equanimity than before. However,you have your entire life before you. If you so desire you can leave now and make a life for yourself. .....
After this the Swamiji desired to be alone. No amount of pleading that I would like to stay with him had any effect. Finally I left him alone.
In the Morning, as was my practice I went to pay obeisance to the Swamiji. His hut was empty and clean. I knew that the Swamiji had left and I did not search for him . I knew he did not wish to be found.Wherever he was he would always be our guiding spirit. But I did know that he would want me to continue his legacy of compassion and love. And this is what I am striving to do . Someday I know that I will meet the Swamiji again. But when this would happen I am not sure.....
To continue Guruvananda's story:-I was relieved with the outcome of the press conference. I had no doubts that things would go back to normal. I could not have been more mistaken. The sedate life of serenity we led at the ashram was about to change in a manner that I had not anticipated. After the press conference, the Swamiji became very thoughtful . He took part in the daily prayer meetings but he was withdrawn. He spent more and more time in solitude. His penances became more severe.He now had lesser time for his disciples. Though he did not cut himself off totally from the day to day activities of the ashram, there was still this feeling of something being wrong, After discussion with the other inmates of the Ashram I decided to confront the Guruji. While I could not ask him questions directly I decided that I had to inform him of the concern in the Ashram with regard to his aloofness. And so, when one day it was my turn to look after the Swamiji, I decided to ask him about his reticence.
Perhaps the Swamiji sensed my disquietude. And he smiled that benign smile of his and said " Son I sense that you want to ask me something. Before you say any thing let me guess what is bothering you". He raised his hand to quieten my protestations. " while I would like to live a life of peace and serenity the occurrences in the Ashram of the recent times have proved that no one is beyond being affected by Maya. By Maya I mean the illusions that we are under. To a large extent your friend from the USA was not wrong when he said that we are all subject to illusions. In my case it was the fact that I was affected by Maya who is now in our Ashram."
"As we progress in life what is it that we are looking for?" Saying this the Swamiji looked at me with his piercing eyes. I immediately dropped my gaze from his scrutiny. I was not sure as to how to answer him. He then answered his own question. " We are looking for genuineness in our existence.We are looking for people to accept us for what we are. No hidden meanings in what we speak and truthfulness in our actions. By this I mean that there are no ulterior motives associated with whatever we say are do. Every word that we speak is taken at it's face value and acted upon as such. when we have achieved this then we are on the path to true Nirvana. Everything else we say or do has to be towards achieving this end."
"When I was taking personal attention in Maya people attributed it to my physically being attracted to her. This had me thinking over the past few days . And this is the reason that I have been withdrawn . It was time for introspection.I have failed myself in the quest for higher things in life.I feel that a lot has to be done towards this end. We all desire to be close to the higher power. Sooner or later everyone turns to God. Some with more intensity than the others. I feel that in my case , as I progress in life the desire to get closer to God becomes stronger. Hence I have to take certain drastic decisions."
Instinctively I knew what the Swamiji was trying to tell me. Already I felt bereft at the thought of losing the Swamiji. Would I be able to bear the impending loss? I knew I was being selfish. Like a child who would rather be in the protective embrace of his mother than face the world I also did not want to be separated from the Swamiji.
In the next few days against all my expectations the Swamiji made preparations for his impending departure. He still attended all the daily meetings and carried on with providing solace to the lost souls of this world. In fact he seemed more lively than ever before.
Sooner than later the blow finally fell. One night immediately after the night prayers, one of the disciples came to me with summons from the Swamiji. I immediately repaired to his hut. I was the last to arrive. There were already a few of the chosen disciples, including Maya present in the hut. As soon as I arrived the Swamiji got up and said " Life is a progression of events. Some good and some bad. It is how you view them that makes them good or bad. You are all aware of the events of the past few days. While many of you are dismayed and maybe disappointed, I regard these as a positive sign for me to move on . I have therefore decided that I require solitude and peace to meditate in a more concentrated manner on God. I intend to head into the Himalayas to discover myself and in the process discover the supreme Being. Once before I endeavored to leave but probably I was not ready to do so. But now I see that the time has come." We were all stunned beyond words . The Ashram without the Swamiji seemed unimaginable. One of the younger disciples put this thought into words when he asked the Swamiji "But Swamiji who will look after us? Who will guide us in difficult times?
The Swamiji was silent for a time . We all waited patiently for the Swamiji to speak further. It was as if he was meditating . Then he opened his eyes and his gaze rested on me.I found it difficult to breathe. The Swamiji said " Guruvananda has been with me for the longest time. He understands my teachings the most. He is a man of compassion and believes in the goodness of all human beings. He will be your new guru. I hereby rename him as Swami Guruvananda. " Saying this the Swamiji walked towards me and made as if to hug me. My eyes were full of tears and I fell at his feet saying " I am not ready for this Guruji. I cannot fill the void left by you." The Swamiji raised me to my feet and hugged me. He said " Are we ever ready for anything in this world? For the happiness , sadness , backstabbings, disappointments, pleasure, pain etc? But when it does happen to us we learn to cope and at times our experiences become the examples for someone else. Dear Guruvananda you have been ready for a long time. It was only my reluctance to leave which has held you back. Nothing will make me happier than leaving the Ashram in your capable hands. He then turned to Maya and said to her " Dear Maya you have, of all my disciples, seen pain at close quarters. In the time that you have been here you have endeared yourself to one and all. Your ability to willingly undertake all tasks without complaining is outstanding. I am sure that you have learnt to handle life with greater equanimity than before. However,you have your entire life before you. If you so desire you can leave now and make a life for yourself. .....
After this the Swamiji desired to be alone. No amount of pleading that I would like to stay with him had any effect. Finally I left him alone.
In the Morning, as was my practice I went to pay obeisance to the Swamiji. His hut was empty and clean. I knew that the Swamiji had left and I did not search for him . I knew he did not wish to be found.Wherever he was he would always be our guiding spirit. But I did know that he would want me to continue his legacy of compassion and love. And this is what I am striving to do . Someday I know that I will meet the Swamiji again. But when this would happen I am not sure.....
The entire story was good to read sir. Cheers.
ReplyDelete