Press Conference II

The silence hung heavy on the Ashram. . It was accentuated by the clearness with which we could hear the birds at this time of the day. Somewhere in the distance a vehicle backfired. It sounded like the harsh sound of a rifle firing a single shot. The question posed by the lady reporter hung like the Sword of Damocles over the gathering. Then the Swamiji got up from his seat and walked to the front edge of the podium. This movement caused the tension to break like a dam under intense pressure of water. The noise rose in crescendo. Now that the question had been asked , every reporter added his/her own twist to the question-
"Swamiji how did you come in contact with Maya?"
"Is it true you knew her from before your move to the spiritual realm?"
"Were you and Maya lovers earlier?"
"Why has Maya chosen your Ashram of all those available?"
"Which Political Party are you associated with?"
"Do you support abortion?"
"What are you doing for the underprivileged people of this country?"
"Is it true that the Americans are funding your Ashram?"
"Why is it that you are not Married?"
"Is it true that your Parents are still alive?"
The questions went from sublime to ridiculous. My mind was in a turmoil.How would the Swamiji survive this verbal onslaught? Was it time to put an end to the press conference? My heart went out to the Swamiji.All through this, the Swamiji was quite and composed. When the reporters ran out of questions he started to speak.
"When I was young " he said " I was playing outside in the garden. I found a bird in the garden, on the ground . It's wing was broken and it was making pitiful attempts to fly.  My heart went out to the bird. My life's ambition at that moment was to help the bird recover from it's injury and see it fly again. Every waking moment of mine was spent in administering to the bird. I assiduously worked on making sure that the bird was taken care of. My exertions paid off when one day the bird was healed. It started flying - first in short bursts and  when it was totally healed it flew away. While the heart grieved at the loss of the bird as a companion, my mind was filled with joy in the knowledge that the bird finally was able to fly away to it's independence. This gave me a lot of peace of mind. At that point of time I found my calling."
The Swamiji paused and surveyed the gathering with eyes full of compassion. " At some point of time - like the bird with the broken wing, we are beset with difficulties in our life. We need an external force - a guidance - to help us overcome these difficulties. When we are willing to look outside ourselves to get help, we are accepting the fact that we are at our wits' end. When Maya came to me she was on the verge of a total breakdown. Circumstances and to a large extent her own doings were responsible for her breakdown. She rejected love from her near and dear ones and found solace in acting out her rebellions.The time had came for her to set right the wrongs in her life.. As was the case with everyone else who came to the ashram for help, I started taking care of her . Further interaction made me realise that she required extra attention. She was at that vulnerable stage where she had to be handled very delicately. And so I began spending more time with her . Trying to help her break out of her depression and start living a normal life. While I could not certainly bring back her father I could help her accept the loss and get on with her life. The Idea being that like the bird that flew away after being healed she would get back to her life and live it more meaningfully. This was not the case.
Maya, in spite of gaining peace wanted to do more. She realised that there were many people in this world who would require someone to hold her hand much the same as she was guided in time of crisis.She should also help other people . And this was possible only by becoming a part of the ashram.  Initially I tried to dissuade her saying that she was young and had a career to look forward to. But when she was strong in her desire to help people I started spending time with her to help her smooth transition from a person of the world to a Sanyasin. I am happy to say that she has completely assimilated my teachings and is now in a position to work on others. She is a dedicated to the service of humanity and in the short time she has spent here she has done a lot of good to a lot of people.
With that the Swamiji got up and made to leave the Podium. Immediately there were protests about his leaving but the Swamiji raised his arms for silence and said " I have answered your questions to the best of my ability and have nothing further to say". I would like to request you to kindly leave the Ashram peacefully. Trust has to be developed among human beings and I hope that you will entrust me with your belief....
The Swamiji left the stage. The press reporters took this as a signal for the end of the conference. However a few persistent ones tried to question me. My stand was already clarified by my Swamiji, when he left. I declined to answer any questions and followed the Swamiji.
Did the allegations have any impact on the Swamiji? I was not sure...

The Press Conference

There was a general sense of excitement at the Ashram. Today was the landmark day for the Ashram. The Swamiji was to hold a press conference. Normally he shunned the media. His contention was that - however we wanted to express ourselves the media always managed to twist the the words to ensure that their channel or news paper sold the most. It is these people who are capable of spreading the hate and discontentment in the world. He said " For example take the case of Maya. Forget the fact that she is a troubled soul and is in dire need of solace and peace of mind. The media always attaches ulterior motives to the actions of the celebrities. So much so that they have started linking her name to mine in a derogatory sort of manner." I looked at the Swamiji in surprise and astonishment. He said" Don't look so surprised. I am aware of what is happening in this world. I am not entirely immune to the occurrences in the Ashram." "But Swamiji" I protested " You always say that one should withdraw from the world ,while working towards the ultimate goal of Nirvana." The Swamiji was very amused at my reply. He said " My son when I said that one should withdraw from the world , probably I was being unclear in my communication. I accept my mistake in all humility. I meant that one should not let the events occurring in the world affect your ability to concentrate on the task at hand. Even when one is unconscious , one is aware of ones' surroundings. You are willfully meditating. This meditation will only ensure that irrespective of your concentration things will go on in the world. Your ability to keep all things that distract you at an arms length are what will help you attain your ultimate goal." Suddenly things became clear to me . Nevertheless I could not resist asking the Swamiji as to why he wanted to hold the press conference.
  The Swamiji said " As I told you earlier, There have been tasteless rumours floating around. While they do not affect me personally they are definitely having an adverse  affect on other Ashram inmates and all those people who come here to pray and meditate. People are looking in askance at the very foundation of this Ashram which is to offer people a better alternative to lead their lives in Peace and Harmony. Once in a while it is better to nip the rumour in the bud rather than allow it to become uncontrollable at a later stage. There are innumerable examples where a spark neglected burnt down the house". Moreover communication is very important to put forth ones'point of view".
By this time we had reached the designated area where the press people had gathered for the conference. I could see that the press was sharpening their knives. I could not help but make a comparison between the press and the vultures waiting to feed on the carrion. The press was out in full force. I could see that they were very restless. For, unlike in other press conferences , where they were offered refreshments, here they were served with only tea and water. I think that it was a deliberate ploy to tell the press that we lived an austere life and that the main purpose was to put forth the views of the Swamiji on various aspects of the functioning of the Ashram.It was not wrong to say that in spite of their restlessness the press persons were slightly intimidated by the ir surroundings. At first they were all quite and were given no encouragement whatsoever by the Swamiji. Finally the Swamiji decided to break the ice by giving his point of view rather than waiting for questions from the press.
"My dear fellow human beings," he said; "I am distressed at the various rumours floating around with regard to activities in this Ashram. You are also aware that I am averse to having the press pry into the affairs of the ashram. It is for this reason that I do not allow the press or the media into the ashram. I now realise that it has it has adversely affected the functioning of this Ashram.People used to come here for gaining peace of mind. Alas now they come here more out of curiosity as to what is happening here rather than meditating and praying. People are looking at each other in suspicion and distrust. Much as I would have liked to let things carry on as they are I have realised that unless I make the position clear things are not going to be as serene as they were before. I may also like to add - in spite of it being labeled as pontification - that it is natural for people to indulge in gossip. Rumours are what keep the world moving. Like your body which requires exercise your tongues also requires exercise. What must be kept in in mind is that this gossip should as far as possible not hurt others physiologically and psychologically. When this happens it is time to offer clarifications so that the Miasma of uncertainty is cleared. It is for this reason that i am present here in front of you. Our activities are an open book and I am sure that you will also realise this as we progress into the conference.
I had never seen the Swamiji so moved during the entire time I was at the ashram. Normally a word from him would quieten the most disturbed mind. and he used this gift of communicating with the least number of words to a great effect. this was a new side of the Swamiji that I had never seen before. I realised that while the Swamiji wanted to set things right at the Ashram at the earliest. As soon as the Swamiji concluded his remarks many reporters were on their feet waving their hands seeking the attention of the Swamiji.Now came the surprising part. The Swamiji did not favour any particular reporter. He allowed them clamour among themselves to gain the right to ask the first question. A mature older man finally won out. He respectfully saluted the Swamiji and then posed his question. "Swamiji as is evident you are not very old - yet you have renounced the ways of the world and become a Sanyasi..."
"My son it is the cycle of life. One need not necessarily be old and infirm before he decides to give up the ways of the world and become a sanyasi. Some people show early signs of  intelligence and become great scientists and statesmen. Some people learn compassion and start feeling the pain and suffering in the world at a very young stage. While some of these people go into depression and give up altogether on life and become useless to the society. Moreover it is not always the realisation but also the circumstances which guide a person to give up the ways of life and turn to piety. In my case it was some of all. The overriding factor was my desire to serve the humanity".
By now the noise level in the conference area increased much more. Did you go to the Himalayas? Who was your guru? How much money do you charge your Disciples? Do you promote Family Planning? Where else do you have your Ashrams? Which Television Channel are you associated with? Do you set rates for your donations? What Miracles have you performed?
At this point the Swamiji raised his hand for silence.
"Miracles?" He said; " This life itself is a miracle. You are all aware that with the present advances in technology and science it has been possible to decipher the composition of the living being. However just by putting all the ingredients together will not give rise to a new being. That requires divine intervention. Beyond this what else can be a miracle? Do you want me to conjure things out of the blue? Any magician can do it...
And so the conference went on - the press bombarding the Swamiji with questions and the Swamiji taking time and answering each question deliberately, with compassion and patience. Just when I was breathing a sigh of relief that the conference was being successfully meandering to an end a voice cut through the murmur. One of the lady reporters asked in a clear voice which carried across for all to hear- "Swamiji you speak of piety and purity and calmness of mind and body yet there are reports that you have been consorting with Maya the famous model . I have come to know that you have been spending more time with her in private than all your other Disciples put together. It is quite surprising that a new disciple should be given so much time." The lady reporter's voice took on a mocking tone and she continued " Or are you enamoured by this extremely beautiful and famous celbrity?"
The dangerous question was asked and there was absolute silence in the press conference area. Everyone was silent and were waiting with bated breath  for the Swamiji's reaction. ...

Musings

Swamiji why do we celebrate Festivals? Or for that matter Birth, growing up, milestones in life,marriage , and death? After all life is but a cycle. Birth , growing up and death occur in natural progression. What is a given does not really need to be celebrated. yet we take time off to celebrate all sorts of things . Time which could be used to Pray is spent in frivolous things like celebrations. Why is this so? The Swamiji appeared to be in deep thought and did not reply to my question immediately. He seemed to be meditating and had his eyes closed. I waited for sometime and was going to prompt him when he opened his eyes and looked at me with deep compassion. In anticipation of insights into life I held my silence. Then the Swamiji said " a life without any change - day in and day out becomes very drab and colourless. We require to break the monotony of life. Moreover your contention that celebrations are a waste of time is wrong. In a roundabout manner these celebrations are an assertion of the very essence of life and they constantly underline the presence of a superior force which guides us throughout our life. Man is a thinking being who can express himself . Which is generally not true of other animals. On the days of celebration Man assures himself of a superior force. On these days he reaffirms his faith in God and renews his vows of a clean life. In a way these celebrations are a way to remember God. And hence are a part of life.
Maya
Maya continued her story about giving everything up and joining the Ashram. She said " it was difficult for me to get away from my glitzy life and join the Ashram.The constant attention which was given to me was almost addictive. At the same time the guilt that I was the cause of pain for my mother who sacrificed her entire life to look after me consumed me. My endeavours to find my mother all ended in a miserable failure. My desire to make amends for my rebellious behaviour grew day by day. I remembered her patience and gentleness even when I committed mistakes. Even when I slept her images floated in front of my eyes. I started losing sleep and along with it my sang froid. The tension started affecting my life and my work. The best of food and comforts did not alleviate my distress. At that time we went for a photo shoot in the hills of Dehradun .

From the first day everything went wrong. A session for which I would have no re-takes earlier did not come out right even after a number of repetitions. I told my director that I would require a break for a day or two. He was generous enough to give me a break with the promise that I would complete my assignment in time . In desperation I sought divine intervention . My search brought me to the Ashram of the Swamiji. It was a life changing experience for me. There was this aura emanating from the Swamiji which made me feel protected and loved . All my fears were washed away and I felt safe.
Initially I wanted to go back to my life as a celebrity. But somewhere along the way I realised that I was happier at the Ashram, where nothing else mattered other than the service to mankind. I have now spent more than an year in the Ashram. I am at peace with the world and all my demons have been exorcised.

There has been talk of my linkages with the Swamiji. But this did not bother me. What do people know about true love and for that matter what do people understand about devotion and piety. We are immersed in lies which slowly become the guiding forces of our life.It is in human nature to Gossip, quarrel and indulge in innuendos. Should we take cognizance of every little thing that affects us?

Guruvananda

I have a friend in the USA.He lives in the bay area.I have known him for long. Recently when I was relating the story of my journey to the Swamiji's feet he called me selfish. At first I did not understand what he was trying to say - then I spent some time hoping to decipher his rather cryptic criticism After all no one likes to be called selfish. As far as I was concerned I was pure as driven snow with no perceivable fault. Frequent introspection revealed no discernible flaw in my personality. Then why did my friend make this statement about my being selfish?

I have gained no insights into my nature on the this profound statement of my friend. But after hearing the story of Maya further analysis of my self did reveal some flaws. We do not seek solace in God until some drastic life changing situation affects us. Even then how many people really heed these course corrections that God gives us once in a while? I was guilty of becoming jealous of  Maya because of her proximity to the Swamiji. But after getting to know her better I realised that it is best to leave things alone if one is to have peace of mind...