P......2

            We were back at the bar. P--- was not in the best of moods.  The reason for his disquietude became evident when he told me that he had read  the story about his standing on the deck of the submarine in the face of a really bad storm and how he was brave in the face of it. "Angrezi acchha  likh lete ho". (Sarcastically)(You write well in english) he said.

            Before I could interrupt he put on his pedagogical face and continued"Storms happen. They are a way of life at sea. But what made this particular watch ( on the submarine) special, was that after my senior was sent below deck because of his injury I was alone on the deck. The constant battering by the waves was most enjoyable. Notwithstanding the damage that I was sustaining to my body. Was I Masochistic? I did not let that thought ruin my stint on the deck.  Memory seems hazy at this point. On a hindsight it was a huge wave that was my undoing. One moment I was on the deck and the next moment I was swallowing huge amounts of seawater. My battered body was was thrown about . I never hated salt more than at that moment. One moment I was close to fighting my way back onto the submarine and the next I  was pushed back relentlessly into the sea.The only good thing was that I was still tethered to the submarine with a rope. I was losing the will to fight back. It did come to my mind about ending it all by letting the sea have its way.  In those fleeting moments many thoughts passed through my mind. The thought of dying a virgin with no progeny to further the P--- line was abhorrent - and the fact that I had defied my dad to join the navy - when he wanted me to join the army energised me into struggling hard to get back onto the submarine - I had to prove him wrong." 

            The promise of  virgins in heaven did not in the least interest me. Whatever the bliss of conjugal life was - I wanted to experience it in this world. I regretted laughing at my my senior when he had got hurt and having considered him stupid for his carelessness. I resolved that when and if I got back on deck I would apologise to him. The going was tough . People say that negative thoughts are not good in times of emergency. I disagree. Negativity spurs you into action to do something positive.And this is precisely what happened. With the last remaining strength I somehow managed to get back on to the sub. I was terribly tired and ashamed of my carelessness.  My hands were chaffed and my stomach was full of salty seawater. For the next few minutes  I was puking my guts  out on the deck. Later I of course did not apologise to my senior. It would have been pointless as I myself was in a similar situation."

            By now P--- was in full flow.  "Have you ever experienced a moment in your life where your whole life rushed past you in a moment?" he said switching gears. "Yes" I replied; I was going to further expand on the subject but P--- did not give me a chance, he was on a roll and nothing would deter him from continuing about his life and times on the submarines. He continued as if I had not spoken.

             "You know" he said philosophically I have had a good life and I will continue to do so. A happy family good children and a fulfilling job full of challenges. But there are some defining moments when all that you have achieved seems inconsequential. Things which were important, no longer feel that way.   I resigned myself to a long night.

           " It was in the year 199- when we were in Bombay. I had settled into a routine on my submarine. Somewhere in the month of October we were out on an exercise at sea.The whole fleet was involved in this exercise. Our task was simulated attack on the fleet. We had achieved a good success rate and the mood in the submarine was upbeat. It was a trying time for all of us and the fact that we were getting back buoyed our mood tremendously. That was until the officer on the watch alerted us to the fact that we were were going to cross paths with a ship. The ship was headed south and our submarine was headed west . This is always a tense time for us as all the evasive maneuvers to avoid the ship were to be taken by us. Calculations were made and soon it was deemed safe and we were heaving a sigh of relief that an imminent collision was avoided .When we found to our horror that it was not. At that time I was in the conning tower on top of the submarine with another officer. As part of the drill the hatch on top of the conning tower and and the hatch at the bottom of the conning tower connecting to the submarine were sealed shut. The submarine was preparing to dive to avoid the ship. The periscope was unfortunately not lowered and  this proved our undoing. There was a screeching sound as metal ground against metal. The propeller of the ship struck the periscope and the conning tower was flooded with water. A part of the propeller sheared off the ship and got stuck in the submarine. Due to this sudden flooding there was no place left for me and my fellow officer to go. This was the moment of truth for me. Would I survive? Was there a chance for me to see my grand children? There was also a fleeting moment of relief that I would not have to repay my loans and there were these unresolved issues that I would not need to work out.... 

            The automatic desire to survive kicked in. In those few moments it was as if my brain rewired itself. No more useless thoughts. I was exploring each scenario  of survival with a clear and logical mind. And kept discarding each as quickly as they came to mind. Everything pointed to a sure demise at sea. I remembered from my training that it was most necessary to keep a calm mind. This did not seem possible at the moment because I was running out of options. Below the deck by now it must have been total emergency situation. The moment the breach was discovered the submarine crew instituted emergency drills to surface.Those moments almost proved costly to my life. The one scenario which stuck in my mind was the endeavour of the submarine to surface.When the submarine moved upwards I could feel the movement. By now everything had gone into slow motion. I could see my oxygen starved body slowly striving to reach towards the top of the conning tower. I kicked my legs and soon I was at the top sucking in oxygen(possibly created by the upward movement of the submarine) greedily. After a few moments in which I was thanking all the Gods for their munificence I suddenly realised that my fellow officer was nowhere to be seen. A part of my mind which strived for survival only a few moments earlier was hoping that he would surface soon, but the other part was sure that he would not... without a second thought I dove back into the water looking for my colleague. I found him at the bottom - passed out. I got hold of his collar and with desperation born out of the need to be alive I once again headed back to the top. To my great relief my colleague came to and started breathing as soon as we surfaced. The sea air never felt sweeter. I was glad that I pulled him out from under the water -  from what would have been certain death for him - had I left him there".It was one of the most rewarding moments of my life almost like a pregnant woman giving birth......In spite of the horrendous accident that had taken place the submarine managed to limp back to the harbour under its own steam. Not so the ship. Which had to be towed back by the tugboats from the harbour.

            For some time there was silence at the bar. It was a fascinating story. I was reluctant to disturb his memories as I could see that his face had a far off look. Finally I asked him "Did they award you a medal - for acting coolly under such tremendous pressure - for saving a life?" I asked him half in jest.

His smile said it all......