I was looking forward to our course meet. 32 years had passed since we took the last step on our way to serve in this gigantic army. Along the way some of my course mates got married - and procreated early.They were the cause of envy of many of our other friends who by comparison had younger children and were staring retirement in the face. Understandably they were worried about settling their children. Others realized in the midst of serving the nation that army was not for them . They carried out a mid course correction and joined the civil stream. They were also doing well for themselves.Many like me consciously continued serving in the army. Amongst us many retired without achieving their full potential - either due to laziness or due to the fact that they took a stand against irresponsible and pig headed seniors and refusing to toe the line. I had not met many of my friends after being commissioned. The get together promised to rectify this anomaly.
One person I was most anxious to meet was the person who I was not even sure would attend. But something told me that he would be there today - call it intuition or sixth sense. And that was the reason that I was looking forward to this meet.
Once in a while life takes a funny turn. While most of
my other course mates were involved in the humdrum of daily life my friend went
on a totally different track altogether. Even while in the academy he was known
for his intensity and determination to see a task to its end. What brought us
together was that we both belonged to the same platoon and were neighbours.
Over a period of time we became close friends. After the academy we drifted
apart . An occasional phone call in the beginning and a sporadic call were all
that kept us in touch. He joined the infantry and I joined the aviation. To top
that he joined the special forces. Any how life limped along . I got married
and my two children were the cynosure of my eyes. With the advent of the mobile
I thought that we would be in communication to a larger extent. But my hopes were
belied . If anything we were more distant from each other. Probably early in
life he saw the futility of killing and watching his close friends fall one by
one along the way. I realised that something was different when the next time
we spoke . “ I am planning to leave the ‘fauj’ Suraj”; he said. "When I see the
suffering around me – I want to help alleviate it. And I am not talking about
poverty and other associated problems. I am talking about mental health and
problems created by loss of mental stability". Part of me wanted to dissuade him
from taking such a drastic step so early in life while the other part of my
brain informed me of the futility of such a fatuous argument. Be that as it may I knew that he was
set on doing something drastic.
It was a long wait for me to hear about him. And then
the news was far more shocking than I could ever imagine. My friend had made a
name for himself , and his ashram was in the foothills of the Himalayas at Dehradun.. He was fondly known as the Swamiji.
His reputation was very good and people from all strata of the society visited
him for seeking solace for their problems. My desire to meet him did not arise
for quite some time. But all along I was keeping a track of his activities.
Personal problems have a way of intruding upon your
daily life in such a manner that by the time you disentangle yourself from them
you would find that the world has gone by and that you have a lot of catching
up to do. My father was already in an ashram in Haridwar. Since my problems
were refusing to sort themselves out I decided to take a break to visit my father to get away
from it all. My father is a no nonsense
man . And he roundly criticised me for being stupid and incapable of
dealing with my inadequacies. A few days in Haridwar and I felt that I needed a
new perspective towards life. It was then that I remembered my friend . The
idea which started off as thought slowly took root in my mind very quickly. I had to meet him.
The next day saw me speeding towards Dehradun in my
car. My mood was uplifted at the thought of meeting my friend and course mate –
and more importantly, The Swamiji, after such a long time. What would he be
like? Would he make me feel welcome? Or would there be awkwardness between us?
How would I broach upon my problems?
Soon afterwards I was in Dehradun . I was quite wary about about the reception I would get at the Ashram. The Ashram was away from the main city with no
indication as to its whereabouts except for the fact that one had to deduce
that in a uninhabited area the populace was heading only in one direction.
Further inquiries proved that I was on the right course. The ashram occupied a
huge area. Since it was still early in the day, the congregation was yet to
begin. The volunteers were seating the people quietly in front of a huge
podium. The subdued and pious atmosphere affected the children also. Some of
the restless ones were crying in undertones. I was immediately struck by the
discipline shown by the people. Unlike other religious/ prayer congregations
that I visited in my life, here I found people sitting quietly and with
dignity.
Prior to meeting my friend – the Swamiji – I decided
to attend the congregation. Somehow the fact that my friend had become a Guru
was something I still could not digest . I had to see it for myself. After
waiting for a short time I could feel the undercurrent of excitement travel
through the crowd. Chantings of “Swami, Swami, Swami......” first started on a
subdued note and slowly the frenzy of seeing the Swamiji in person took over as
the chants grew louder and louder. I held my breath. Would he be in saffron
robes? Would he have a long and venerable beard? – These were some of the
thoughts that were going on in my mind. Soon the Swamiji arrived on the stage.
He looked totally different from what I had visualised. He appeared much
shorter and he sounded different.
My spirits sank and I was under the misapprehension
that I had come to the wrong Ashram. But the way the Swamiji spoke compelled me
to continue to listen to him. Soon it was my turn to meet the Swamiji. When I
went to him and mentioned to him that I was a friend of the Swamiji who was also
my course mate he told me that the Swamiji left for the Himalayas for Meditation.
However Swami Guruvananda invited me to stay in the ashram as long as I
desired. A few days later after an intense course of meditation I left for my
home.
Now we were meeting as a course. Though there was no
intimation of the Swamiji attending the get together I was sure that he would
be there. I was looking forward to meeting him....
